March 14th 2011
Today at work, (I'm a nanny), I was picking up and putting this foam colored puzzled
carpet back together that Ellie had pulled apart. I got up Monday morning with a
lot weighing on my mind and a pretty heavy heart. To be honest, one of the most
comfortable places to me is my car, I can find comfort in Jesus, worship, talk and
pray to Him so I popped in part 3 of Pastor Chris's "My Church" series into my cd
player. This particular cd talked about really truly encountering God. Not just
believing and worshipping but actually experience and feel Him. I get to work, Ellies almost a year old, (its hard to be sad, or actually anything but happy around children)so I waited until she fell asleep and here come the tears. To me, crying is beautiful. Its away, at least for me to lay it all down to God, and a good cry always makes me feel better, ( can I get an amen?!). So im crying, tears streaming down my face. Im on the floor and all the sudden I stop what im doing. I cant move, my eyes are closed, and all I can hear and feel is God. I FELT GOD. I had an encounter with Him. I opened my eyes about 15 seconds later and felt His presence. I paused, with goosebumps and heard God speak for a moment. "Look at this puzzle. This puzzle is your life. I am here. This is all happening for a bigger reason than you." I stopped crying and smiled, thinking of just how mysterious and wonderful He is. God showed up in my life that day, at that exact time to show me and speak to me because He knows there are pieces of my own puzzle I need to pick up. He knows I am broken hearted. Extremely.He also knows there are pieces of my puzzle that are missing, that He has taken away from me on purpose. I truly believe He decided firmly to show up today, right beside me with that puzzle piece in hand. ( The missing piece was a J, by the way. A sign? Of course. He knows what I am struggling with right now at this exact moment. He knows because he knows it all before it happens. He wants to help me pick up the pieces of my life where it's broken. He wants to fulfill his title of my Mighty Counselor, if I'll let him and trust Him to do so. Throughout the last few weeks of my time, I have struggled extremely hard and I have battled many trials and hardships. I have realized I try to control and fix things too much for my own good. What I have to realize is that Jesus is here to console me and grieve with me. He is my Mighty counselor and my friend. And He is not these things because He has to be or gets paid to be, but because of his compassion, His mercy, His love. He is my comfort in times where I need Him to be just that. In John 14:16 it says, " And I will pray to the father, and He shall give you another comforter, that he may be with you forever." He is talking about JESUS!!!! :) The most awesome thing is that he will never fail us, even when we fail him. Even when we are broken hearted, it says in scripture he will hear our heart and spirit and make it new. Ezekiel 36:26, " I will give you a new heart, I will put a new spirit in you." But what happens when we ask Jesus into our life and to be our savior, when we let Him heal our initial pain, and more trials come our way?" We must learn to trust God and His chosen son for good, always. All of the time. Even if we experience pain and heartbreak at some times. And we will. In 1 Peter 4:12 it says, " Beloved, do not find it strange when fiery trials of all kinds come along to test you, as though something strange was happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you participate in Christ's sufferings, so that you may also rejoice when His glory is revealed." Let me break it down for ya. When God takes something away, weighs on your heart for you to do something difficult, or puts you through certain trials and in certain situations, He's doing it for a big reason. He may be doing it to show you there is something better out there. He may be trying to take you out of your comfort zone, by offering you or calling you for something much bigger than yourself. All of the time though, God is doing works in our lives so that His glory is revealed. To show us that all the praise goes to Him, He is perfect and will never guide us astray or down the wrong path, IF WE TRUST AND LOVE IN HIM. James 1:2-4 says, " Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, so that you may be perfect and lacking in nothing." Today, staring at that puzzle piece, truly encountering God, for the first time really, since I was saved, I realized something. I realized that when I feel as if everything is falling apart, and I feel like I just lost a big piece of my puzzle (or a few big pieces), God will never take away without replacing that missing piece with something else. I thought to myself, I am extremely broken hearted and hurting. I have some big holes in my heart, and maybe even a few in my soul. I have been trapped in darkness in certain areas in my life. But at last, while I am healing, and it will take time, a lot of time, I can let God fill that void. And ALOT of Him! I don't EVER have to ask, search, beg or plead for Gods love, or his forgiveness. I don't need to seek his advice, because He weighs it on my heart before I even have to begin searching for the words to ask for it. The more hurt I am, the many testing of trials I have in my life, the stronger I grow in my relationship with the Lord. The harder I pray, the harder I seek for Him to heal me and break my chains. The more I talk to Him and the more time I spend with Him, it's easier to see that He's doing a work in this Princess's heart, and that He's working at setting me free completely. I get Gods love, and His guidance, along with His son loving on me, right where I am in my life. Because He's been there too. In Hebrews 2:17-18 MSG it says,"That’s why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people’s sins, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and would be able to help where help was needed.” HE HAS BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is our inspiration, and truly our best friend. He understands it ALL. This all ties together, or to fit my analogy, fits together perfectly like the pieces of my puzzle. One of the best things about God's love is that it is a safe, 100% guarantee to lift me up and encourage me in times where I need an escape, when I am sad and have nowhere to turn. There is nothing dangerous nor painful about running into His arms when I am scared or hurt. He will never forsake me, betray me, or leave me. Hebrews 13:5. "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." He won't refuse to forgive me. He will always shower me abundantly with his love, mercy and grace. There is no embarrassment when I cry to Him or when I my voice shakes and I am fearful as I speak with him, in times of despair. He already knows. He expects me. And rejoices over me. We all have somebody in this life we could call at our absolute worst times. The doorstep we can show up on at 4am, when we are distraught, fearful, angry, sad, confused, doubtful, sad, torn, ETC. God's door is never locked. He doesn't have to show up, His spirit lives in us all. He doesn't have to show up. WE DO. We're the ones its up to. We have to decide whether to pick up the phone and tell Him whats going on. To make the drive in the middle of the night even though we don't know what to say. God KNOWS. PSALM 6:8-9 says, "Away from me, all you who do evil,for the LORD has heard my weeping.The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer." The Lord knows when we cry. It is okay for me to lay down at the cross in and out of my times of trouble. Experiencing God, truly experiencing Him, was a feeling I cannot describe. He taught me today that He will never take away of piece of my puzzle and leave it missing, He's just doing some rearranging and prioritizing right now. That means more to me then anything has lately. I vow to follow Gods plans for me, and to be obedient to Him. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." PSALM 37:4. I say yes to God and no to the world. Each day is a gift from Him, and everyday I can't wait to unwrap it!
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." PSALM 139:14
Let His will be done in me. I love you, God!
Until next time,
XOXO
Caitlin
Friday, March 18, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
We ARE set FREE!
Hey Everyone!
I just started this blog, I normally journal and God weighed on my heart to start a blog since I do a pretty good job communicating through writing. (MOST of the time!) I'll keep the first one short, since the next one I'll post will be my testimony, THAT one will be good and long!
I just wanted to share a verse I came across in my devotional yesterday that weighed extremely hard on my heart. I've had my fair share of troubles, as I'm sure we all have. Lately, I have spent more then my ordinary amount of time praying and speaking to the Lord. I do every day, but I'm talking, alot more than my usual. Not only in my world, but on this Earth, there is so much and there are so many who need prayer. HOURLY. DAILY. Most of the ones who need it the most aren't even aware of it. I've been praying for my friends and loved ones in my family to be arrested by God; by his power, presence, and love. I've prayed for a serious revival in my family up North and my generation up there as well.
As I've spent time thinking and talking to God, I've started to realize that so many people don't really understand the true beauty and passion of Jesus, and furthermore, the LOVE he has for us. Not to mention, the grace, mercy and forgiveness...
In my devotional yesterday, which by the way, happened to be the VERY words I needed at that exact moment (COME ON, JESUS!), My God just reassured me that He is in control of my life. The high points, the trials, and even the lulls of my each day, he has planned out perfectly and knows exactly what I will endure. He assured me that no matter what, I am His treasured posession, and his princess. Boy, did I need this!
Even after you are saved, and almost always before, we always think God is judging us and even if we invite him into our life we will always be the same person that we were in the past. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE!
In Ezekiel 36:26 it says, "I will give you a new a new heart and put a new spirit in you." Let's all read that again. God says, accept Him into your life, and he will GIVE you a new HEART! He will put a new spirit, His Spirit, The Holy spirit into you! The Holy spirit is LOVE! COMPASSION! IT IS HIS PERFECT IMAGE! IT IS GOD! LIVING IN YOU! Scripture says in 1John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in you, than He that is in the world." That means you are ONE POWERFUL PERSON!
That means, no matter how damaged, broken, scarred, scared, or fearful you are, because of what has happened in your past or what you've done in your past, God will wipe it all away and give you a new heart. He will give you a new spirit, one filled with greatness and blessing, if you choose to accept his love, follow him, and use the blessings and gifts your God has given you! Not because you deserve it, or are loveable, but because God is LOVE.
You may think you are living a life fulfilled, redeemed, that because you act or seem happy on the outside you are therefore, fulfilled on the inside, but don't sell yourself short. Your answer is right in front of you. He is ready and waiting for you. In James 4:8, it says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." In other words, ask God into your life, ask him for his help, his hand, for him to come into your life, and HE WILL BE THERE. No questions asked. HANDS. DOWN.
This is for anybody out there who may or may not realize it, but they are living with anger, hate, HURT, pain, of any kind. Just remember, if you don't love yourself or love others, how could anybody possibly love you? Not that people can't love you if you're broken, but, let me put it this way. 1John 4:8 says "Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love!" If you don't let the walls down and let your mighty God love you, you will never experience Him. And trust me, you don't want to miss it.
So, when you have those days when you feel you aren't worthy, or you are one who couldn't possibly put all of your faith into Him, because you don't know him, or don't think he exists, understands, loves, or forgives, remember this:
"The Lord your God is with you ALWAYS, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Sometimes, you won't feel the Lord singing. Sometimes, you will just feel his presence over you, a wind, a soft voice, his hand on your shoulder. He will be your best friend, if you'll let him! :)
HE DELIGHTS IN YOU! ALWAYS!
Love YA'LL!
Until next time,
Caitlin
I just started this blog, I normally journal and God weighed on my heart to start a blog since I do a pretty good job communicating through writing. (MOST of the time!) I'll keep the first one short, since the next one I'll post will be my testimony, THAT one will be good and long!
I just wanted to share a verse I came across in my devotional yesterday that weighed extremely hard on my heart. I've had my fair share of troubles, as I'm sure we all have. Lately, I have spent more then my ordinary amount of time praying and speaking to the Lord. I do every day, but I'm talking, alot more than my usual. Not only in my world, but on this Earth, there is so much and there are so many who need prayer. HOURLY. DAILY. Most of the ones who need it the most aren't even aware of it. I've been praying for my friends and loved ones in my family to be arrested by God; by his power, presence, and love. I've prayed for a serious revival in my family up North and my generation up there as well.
As I've spent time thinking and talking to God, I've started to realize that so many people don't really understand the true beauty and passion of Jesus, and furthermore, the LOVE he has for us. Not to mention, the grace, mercy and forgiveness...
In my devotional yesterday, which by the way, happened to be the VERY words I needed at that exact moment (COME ON, JESUS!), My God just reassured me that He is in control of my life. The high points, the trials, and even the lulls of my each day, he has planned out perfectly and knows exactly what I will endure. He assured me that no matter what, I am His treasured posession, and his princess. Boy, did I need this!
Even after you are saved, and almost always before, we always think God is judging us and even if we invite him into our life we will always be the same person that we were in the past. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE!
In Ezekiel 36:26 it says, "I will give you a new a new heart and put a new spirit in you." Let's all read that again. God says, accept Him into your life, and he will GIVE you a new HEART! He will put a new spirit, His Spirit, The Holy spirit into you! The Holy spirit is LOVE! COMPASSION! IT IS HIS PERFECT IMAGE! IT IS GOD! LIVING IN YOU! Scripture says in 1John 4:4 "Greater is He that is in you, than He that is in the world." That means you are ONE POWERFUL PERSON!
That means, no matter how damaged, broken, scarred, scared, or fearful you are, because of what has happened in your past or what you've done in your past, God will wipe it all away and give you a new heart. He will give you a new spirit, one filled with greatness and blessing, if you choose to accept his love, follow him, and use the blessings and gifts your God has given you! Not because you deserve it, or are loveable, but because God is LOVE.
You may think you are living a life fulfilled, redeemed, that because you act or seem happy on the outside you are therefore, fulfilled on the inside, but don't sell yourself short. Your answer is right in front of you. He is ready and waiting for you. In James 4:8, it says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." In other words, ask God into your life, ask him for his help, his hand, for him to come into your life, and HE WILL BE THERE. No questions asked. HANDS. DOWN.
This is for anybody out there who may or may not realize it, but they are living with anger, hate, HURT, pain, of any kind. Just remember, if you don't love yourself or love others, how could anybody possibly love you? Not that people can't love you if you're broken, but, let me put it this way. 1John 4:8 says "Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love!" If you don't let the walls down and let your mighty God love you, you will never experience Him. And trust me, you don't want to miss it.
So, when you have those days when you feel you aren't worthy, or you are one who couldn't possibly put all of your faith into Him, because you don't know him, or don't think he exists, understands, loves, or forgives, remember this:
"The Lord your God is with you ALWAYS, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
Sometimes, you won't feel the Lord singing. Sometimes, you will just feel his presence over you, a wind, a soft voice, his hand on your shoulder. He will be your best friend, if you'll let him! :)
HE DELIGHTS IN YOU! ALWAYS!
Love YA'LL!
Until next time,
Caitlin
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