There's a verse that has hit very close to home for me lately. I actually read it once last week and I heard it at the service at Highlands today! The verse is Matthew 5:16. It says "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your father in Heaven."

Read it and really let it sink in. Let your light shine before men, (everybody, the Earth, the entire population, whoever you encounter in your life, daily, weekly, once a year, whoever!) So that, they will see your good works and glorify your father in Heaven. How powerful. It makes me think about our confidence, our personalities, what traits each and every one of us carry, and how we come across to others. Not just how we come across to others, but also how we represent God. As Christians, we have a responsibility. We are to live *as best we can, in Christs image. It's a tall order.

So, when I read this verse last week, I had already been thinking about where most of us gain our confidence from. I had also been thinking about self image and representation, and being faithful to the Lord. I know that even after I was saved, there are times where I have hoped to gain my confidence completely from the Lord, but have, as all humans do, gotten it from somewhere else. A relationship, expectations from friends and family, our job, or love or accomplishments that don't come from the Lord. In almost every devotional I read in my book daily, in some way, God reminds me that I can only be fulfilled by Him. That my LIGHT- comes from God and God alone. He is the only thing that satisfies.

Pastor Rizzo said in church today that each and every one of us has a specific gift, a story to tell to others, that fits into Gods ultimate story and plan for our life.

But how often do we really and truly believe that we are living to let our light from God shine, that we are living to fulfill his purpose and calling for our life? Because let's face it, we live in a fallen world, a world where the devil is present and consistently working to try to tear us down. That is his ONLY purpose. (John 10:10)

Lately, I've been going through a season in my life. Of course, we are always going to have tribulation in the world, but in John 16:33, Jesus says, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” That verse is so comforting. That if we love Jesus and trust Him, we have His spirit and the power to overcome through Him! So, this season in my life where, I had been in a relationship and really was only ever with him.That is where my confidence was coming from. Only, my confidence wasn't built up. It was low, and beaten on. He wasn't building me up! I felt like nothing! Empty and lonely. Why? Because I wasn't looking to the right place, I wasn't getting it from God! Coming out of that, growing closer to the Lord daily, I've realized that no man, no friend, no family member can EVER build us up and give us the love, support and confidence that the Lord does. In Psalm 54:4 it says, "Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me." (NIV)

The Lord is the one who sustains me. Not a job, not money, not family, a signifigant other. THE LORD! I mean come on. That's pretty powerful. The best part? God- he doesn't expect us to be perfect! He doesn't have unrealistic expectations! HE is perfect! The bible promises that he will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)It is the perfect relationship, if you choose to let Him into your life, if you choose to trust Him, if you choose to walk by faith! ( 2 Cor 5:7)

Sometimes, both Christians and non Christians look at having faith as a cop out, as a last resort, as an easy way out. How far from the truth! Let me tell you, from personal experience, life gets harder. It is NOT easy to put your faith and trust into God when we really don't have anything but His word and promises to trust. But if you ever pick up His word, it is filled with truth and wisdom and knowledge. And let me tell you, when you draw near to God, when you invite the Holy Spirit to live in you, YOU gain that trust! That faith! That wisdom and knowledge! Here is how powerful the Lord is, here is how we know that GOD has all of our answers!

"that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, and in assurance of understanding and the knowledge of Gods mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden ALL of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2:2-3

God desperately wants us to understand Him, but first His importance of mystery and His will. We don't always understand why He does the things He does or why he lets things happen. Why has God put me in a season where I CHOSE to be caught up in an unhealthy abusive relationship? And after getting out of that, needing support, why has he made me feel angry and disappointed at the lack of support I feel I have from my peers? Why did he move me to Alabama far away from my family and really the only people I have ever leaned on or trusted? Why? TO LEAN ON HIM! FULLY! TO WALK BY FAITH! God hasn't satisfied my needs in a relationship or with a solid group of peers yet because I am putting my TRUST in the wrong place! He is showing me that I need to look fully to Him, for healing, love and comfort, forgiveness, compassion, understanding and GRACE! That first and ONLY, my wisdom, knowledge, counsel and approval comes from GOD and GOD alone!

So, this verse, really hit my heart when it appeared in my life again today. Sometimes, we feel that the light is out. We feel like giving up. Like if we don't gain the approval of the man we're dating, or get exactly what we need from our friends and family at exactly the right time (let's face it, we as humans are DEMANDING), it's all over. But if we truly learn to trust the Lord and accept His trials as ways to persevere, (James 1:2)we will begin to unfold and instill in us His mighty wisdom and knowledge.

The light is not out. It is not over. In fact, when we put our faith, hope, dreams and we start talking to and really being open with God, HE will open our eyes. It's a choice. He already knows what we feel, our thoughts, our hearts, our emotions. In 1 John 3:20, it says "If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." HE KNOWS EVERYTHING! He knows it all. He will give you your confidence back, the second His overpowering love hits you, it's impossible not to feel like you can conquer anything. (Phil 4:13)

Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, our flesh fails. We need God to pick us back up, we need a little dose of His love. And sometimes, the only way we will understand what he is doing in our lives is to PRAY! Last week, I felt so lonely. I felt let down and disappointed. Why? I had a lack of confidence, trust. I had unanswered questions, and was angry because I felt no comfort from anybody in my life. Well, I pray and read and worship daily, but I still didn't have the answer as to why I was feeling the way I was. One morning, in my car, I started to openly just talk to God. I get a little stern with God at times. It's okay to be angry as long as we don't sin out of anger and let the devil get ahold of us. You know His word says "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,and do not give the devil an opportunity. (Ephesians 4:26-27)I just asked God one day, "WHY? Why did you let me think I could go to people and expect support only to be let down? Why do I feel so lonely? Why God?" You know what God did? He answered me. In my car. I've let you be disappointed and let down Caitlin, because you're not looking in the right place. You feel empty and lonely because you are looking to be fulfilled by earthly relationships, when really who you need to be looking to, is ME. WOW. It hit me hard. But ain't that the truth.

Later that day, I picked up Battlefield of the Mind, (by Joyce Meyer, a personal Godsend to me) and her chapter was all about her getting hurt with a group of ladies because she had been placing her trust in them instead of God. Joyce Meyers advice was something like this: "I learned I had been leaning on people in my life and placing IN THEM, A TRUST THAT BELONGS ONLY TO GOD. We can only go so far in any human relationship. If we go beyond the Lords mighty wisdom, trouble will brew." AMEN. So I meditated on that. Here are a few last words. We must have an open mind and an open heart with God. He knows us all, inside and out, but it is our free will to hope in God, to talk to Him, and to let His spirit work in us. Really work in us. God never said it would be easy, He just promised it will be worth it one day. We have to believe that He knows best. His word says He is a mighty counselor, our healer, that He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. (Psalm 18:2)

Our light comes from Him, we serve Him so we can shine for others, and He works in our spirit if we let Him. Only God can satisfy! All my hope is in you God!


"God, I'm so thankful for all of the work you have done in me Lord, that you are my mighty counselor and my greatest friend in my time of need. God I'm so thankful for your faithfulness and the fact that your word says you will never leave me or forsake me. Lord, I'm eternally grateful for all of the wisdom and the knowledge that I gain from being in this perfect relationship with you, God, and for all of the power and hope and trust your Word instills in me daily, God. God, thank you for your constant reminder that my gifts, confidence and LIGHT comes from you, Lord and that only you can satisfy and love me the way that nobody else can, God. I am eternally grateful for you God, I love you so much. God, let me continue to use your wisdom and knowledge to grow in my life God, and let me always continue to listen and pray and trust in you God, for your word says to walk by faith God, and it is easy to do, when you are so loving and trustworthy and faithful and always by my side,God. Lord, your love is so powerful and overwhelming, thank you for putting me through tribulation and trials Lord, that with your word and the power of your life I can overcome Lord and make my story part of your ultimate story, God. Lord, thank you for showing me that my light is essential to save the lost, God, that you have blessed me with gifts that I can use to further your kingdom and save many lives, God. Lord I am so amazed by you and your grace and mercy God, thank you for your forgiveness and your strength and for being my rock and salvation, God. I love you Lord! In your Sons holy and mighty name I pray to you, AMEN."

Until next time,
C